Hi so about two years ago my boyfriend committed suicide. He was my best friend and we had such a weird but special connection. He brought me out of a terrible place where I was suicidal. He gave me everything. But this was a bad relationship also because he sexually abused me but I really don't think you'll be able to understand the relationship we had. We were very young and we had sex at just 14. I'm 18 almost 19 now. Despite him raping me multiple times, he's still very special to me and I miss him everyday. No one understands why I love him so much still but I get it and that's all that matters. I allowed him to take his anger out on me because I know he needed and outlet even though he took it too far sometimes.

Anyways this is just background info but I feel like I have to explain because it's so hard for anyone to understand. But now there is a new guy in my life. I like him a lot and I can definitely see a great relationship ahead. He has helped me a lot and is super funny and cute. But I am really just afraid to move on. My friends pressured me to date again not too long after my ex boyfriend's death and I just wasn't into it for obvious reasons. But now I'm doing it on my own terms with someone who seems to really care. I'm afraid it's too soon and I'm afraid I'm not really over my ex boyfriend. I still love him a lot but I mean I think I always will. I'm just asking for advice I guess if you think it's too soon for me to move on and be with this new guy. Please don't say "sorry for your loss" or say I'm stupid loving a guy who raped me or anything like that. I know it sounds bad but it's nothing I can explain. Thanks in advance and sorry if this topic is too weird. I just don't have anyone else to talk to about this.