I don't know what to do anymore I'm so confused. To another person my life is a dream due to be married in five months big princess wedding son to another relationship young and without being arrogant I know I'm pretty and have a lot of men chase me but I'm so sad. I have went through so much in my life and just don't know how to carry on sometimes I was raped by my baby's dad and beaten a lot I watched my dad hit my mum and his ex wife and I was adopted. I was out of control as a teenager with a lot of drunk and drugs and police cells a lot passed around family members because no one could handle me. Now I'm trying to deal with my past I still drink a lot and take the acsional line of Charlie where I'm from it's normal I know this app is mainly America I am from Scotland and here it is massive that doesn't make it ok. I don't have a problem with drink or drugs but I'm not coping my partner is perfect loves me and would do anything for me and my son treats me like a queen telling me how amazing I am and looks after my son a lot and wants to marry me but at the same time when I'm hurting he doesn't understand he just says it's in the head when I just want to talk about it and feel better I just wish he understood how I was feeling. I'm scared because when I'm not a 1000 percent happy I through it away because love and emotion is hard for me and I get so much attention and there is this guy I fancy he's a dick and I don't see anything past sex but I am attracted to him. I love my fiancée but I don't know if I'm having cold feet or self sabotaging or if I just really wish he could understand that I'm hurting and want him to care