my life!

On dec 9 I had a horrible car accident that my son didn't make it from. I wasn't driving. Now I have started trying again with his dad and I think I may have hit the jackpot but I think I'm grieving a lot more than I was at first I wake up crying looking for my son more often. He was almost 1 12/30/15 had my cycle on 02/09/2017 was lighter and different been feeling all coming since and it's been almost two weeks, still extremely nauseated