Failed IUI

Kylie • Pregnant with a baby girl after 8 years TTC. 💕
Hey ladies, just got my beta back this morning and it's a negative after my first <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>.. I know a lot of you have done it 3,4,5 times and onto <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, sometimes multiple times.. 
I just feel so devastated. Like why am I at work right now? I can't hold myself together. 4.5 years of trying. Being upset month after month. The let down. The constant questions as to when I'm going to have babies. Putting on a smile and attempting to act normal when I'm just empty inside. I just feel so defeated and drained. 
Any advice as to how to hold it together? Keep myself busy? My mind elsewhere other than this?