Rant please be kind

Campbell
Well this month was a complete waste of my time I'm tired of getting nowhere with this,this month I didn't even get to baby dance at all and being sick just really didn't help my case with two viruses close together and plus my husband being gone about all month long and comes today on the last but its too late my cm is creamy so I'm so pissed and I absolutely hate my body I feel no positives wow two periods that started the 10th and ended the 15th but that did me no good that's the first time in a while it started and ended on the same day... But I have irregular length cycles so idk and opk piss me off,and thermometer is a joke cause Even when I'm wanting it everyday Im getting nowhere cause he's hardly been here and stress isn't helping my case but at least I got my period on time and it ended on time,but I'm so sick of this,it shouldn't be this difficult..... It shouldn't but it is....and today I'm having a serious talk with him about this cause he's at fault for 98 % of the stress ( long story) and I know his sperm works cause we have a daughter fixing to be 2 in 3 weeks and I feel so sad and Down and depressed about it and I'm at my breaking point....anybody feel this way right this second like how dare mother nature be that cruel.??!!!!anybody out there cause I feel nobody is out there....