I've been so depressed for so long. I'm almost 30 and I've been like this since I was in my early teens. I have been cutting myself for a decade. I've stopped on a lot of separate occasions but it never sticks. It feels like my SO doesn't care. We've been together for more than 2 years and he still doesn't talk to me. I've told him a thousand times that when I start sending needy texts it's because I've been wanting to cut myself and I need someone to just talk to for a little to distract me. He literally lives across the street from me but still will never come when I need help. Half the time he doesn't even answer my texts. I'm just a burden on everyone around me and more and more I feel like the world would be better off with me dead.

I don't know. I guess this is mostly just a rant. It would be nice if anyone had any advice I hadn't heard for how to deal with the urge to self-harm, but I've tried a lot of stuff (holding ice on my skin, snapping rubber bands, just trying to generally distract myself) and nothing much seems to help.