why am I so messed up

Question

So I split with my ex husband last year we get on we'll regarding the kids. I ended the relationship badly. 
Anyway he is kinda seeing someone. I am with someone and expecting his baby: this relationship has had it's bad bits and good bits. When first got together he was always breaking stuff pulling handbreak up on car etc and being intimidating 
Now he is lovely always saying he loves me etc but hormones or not I am always crying I miss my old life I miss my ex yes it's awful I know. I can't tell my partner how I feel and can't tell my ex. 
I always feel guilty for my three kids from my ex about splitting their family up
I'm so lost. I'm struggling working massively I work nights and all I do is dread it and cry
And my moods are being taken out on my partner I can't give him the love he is craving

Answer

Anyone who treats you bad in the beginning or first year of your relationship is going to continue to treat you bad throughout it. Him yelling at you and pulling the e break in the car trying to intimidate you are huge red flags. It sounds like this could potentially be a dangerous relationship. And you should do what's best for you and your children and get out of it as soon as you can. That should be your first priority. And if you still love your ex husband and you want to be with him you should tell him. being honest with him about your feelings might help you realize that you guys can still make it work or he'll tell you that he doesn't feel the same way and you'll have to move on and be strong for you and your children. Being a single mom isn't easy but it's not impossible and it's worth it if you can be an example to your children on how to be a strong person and to love yourself and put your children first. I hope things get better for you and I hope everything works out! 💗

Answer

I agree with KK. Abusive men are often remorseful when they realize you're about to leave. Doesn't mean that he'll stay this way. You should be honest with your ex about your feelings and if he doesn't feel the same way then at least you know. And your children should be your first priority. You don't want them to watch you go through an abusive relationship (if he goes back to the way he was).

Answer

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I don't have any advice or anything, but I hope it gets better for you!

why am I so messed up

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