I think I've finally realized why I've taken this break up so hard not only is it my first HE  was my first and my first love he was my rock, he was there for me physically and mentally and he made me feel safe I was able to get away from my family life when I was with him. I went through some things towards the end of hs and kept most of it to myself I didn't even tell my best friend about A LOT of it and when I met him I felt like I could finally open up about EVERYTHING because he understood a major part not from the same perspective but he was still able to understand which my best friend wouldn't have. I still message him when I need support but he probably wouldn't be able to be there physically because he has a new gf and she wouldn't like that. I miss him a lot I mean we're finally back to being friends but he's still jokingly proctecive about me lol Honestly I'm sitting here right now and I just want to give him a big long hug :( sorry this is a little long I just had to get this off my chest.