Not being my husband's body type is wrecking my self esteem and desire for sex.
My husband and I have been married for 5 months as of today. He is a wonderful guy. Very hard worker, likes to help me around the house (he likes to help more than I let him!), super smart, funny, and he does his very best to be kind and considerate of me. Sounds great right?
Not exactly. Knowing him for years, I've gathered a pretty clear image of what he finds attractive in women. His "type" does not match me at all. He think red hair is "by far the prettiest" hair color on women. I have dark brown hair. He thinks tan skin is beautiful. I naturally have very fair skin and cannot get a tan unless I risk cancer in a tanning bed for a couple months. He likes big butts and curvy hips. I have practically NO butt, and my hips are just about as straight as any man's. He's also into the really skinny look. I am 5'2 and bounce around 125-135 pounds. I'm small and work out a lot, but not "skinny." Tummy isn't flat and i have love handles. I just have big boobs (C-D) and he's not even into boobs.
I've always struggled with self image. I've dealt with an eating disorder and still have to fight such tendencies. Knowing that if my husband could build a perfect wife, she wouldn't look anything like me, has been killing me. I thought that he would learn to love my body type and maybe even change his preference, since I'm the only body he gets to have sex with. But he never tells me I'm beautiful. He's never said he loves my body. I can sense that he's not just super attracted to me. He never gives the impression that he just craves sex with me or that he adores my body in any way. I find it very hard to want to initiate sex because of this. When we have sex, my body image and wanting to just give him what he needs and let him go to sleep gets in the way of me enjoying sex. I've never orgasmed. It makes him feel bad that I've never orgasmd or even come very close. The other night, he brought it up and asked: "Do you not enjoy sex anymore?" I tried to explain that it's hard for me to enjoy sex when I don't feel like he is very attracted to me, since he never tells me I'm beautiful or acts like he really loves my body. His response was "I think you're pretty. I like your body." It wasn't very enthusiastic or convincing. I know he does love me but this has been making me so sad and my sex drive went from 100 (when we first got married, we were both virgins) to 0. Has anyone else been struggling with a similar situation? Has anything helped you? If so, PLEASE share it with me!
Comment
Add Comment
Let’s Glow
Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy
Glow helps you navigate your fertility journey with smart tools, personalized insights, and guidance from medical experts who understand what matters most.
25+ million
Users
4.8 stars
200k+ app ratings
20+
Medical advisors
