I'm nearly 5 and a half months pregnant. I don't remember the last time I fixed my hair properly. I feel fat and Fukin ugly. I feel like my partner has gone off me as he's never around much. None of my clothes fit. All I wanna do is hide in my house in the dark and sleep. Deleted all my communicative apps and I hate taking phone calls. I just wanna run away from everyone sometimes, including my kids and just hide away somewhere. I used to cut myself but I stopped and haven't done it for a few months but now all I can think about is doing it... the only thing stopping me is that I have midwife appointments and scans etc coming up and I don't want them to see it and take my kids away from me because they think I'm an unfit mother. I absolutely hate my life right now. I'm happy I'm pregnant again but looking after 5 kids all under 9, being pregnant and tryna look after myself is making me wanna give up on life.