Me an my boyfriend have been on & off for 6 years.. we had a big argument about 5 days ago an I stepped out on him the other day..

I figured that we were done I guess I just needed to do me for once.. so I let a male friend eat me out 😔

All I can remember is how my boyfriend would tell me that thus whole relationship was a waste of time how things will never change how my attitude ruined everything..

Now that I stepped out even though we are seperate I feel like the worst person on earth.. in my heart I still really love him.. Before thus situation happened I called him for 4 days straight an had no answer or call back nor a text back..

Now I feel like I really fucked up..

But I still have the things he's said to me in the back of my head all the things he said to put me down ...