I just wanted to tell you about what my husband said to me last night when we were arguing (again) about him never initiating and his lackadaisical attitude towards sex.

He explained to me that to him sex is an emotional need rather than a physical. He said that's just how he is wired. He said that he can only have sex with someone that he is in love with (i.e. me) and it creates such a powerful bond that lasts outside of the bedroom.

I asked him don't you like having sex? He said well of course I do. But I am unable to perform when I feel that our emotional bond is weakened (whether it be by arguing, me complaining how he isn't attracted to me, me insulting him, me not providing him with enough physical affection, etc)

I started to cry because I felt like this is the first time he has honestly opened up about the real reason why he seems to have a low sex drive. Before he would just say he's tired or some lame excuse but I had no idea he was feeling so degraded and hurt.

I cried because I didn't realize how I had been treating him for so long.

I don't know if you ladies have SOs with a similar problem but maybe it is something to consider. I thought me and him had a great relationship except for sex because I did not realize how much my disappointment in him made him feel disconnected from me.

I hope this helps maybe one person out there. It has completely changed my perspective on him as a man and as my husband.

Thank you.