So confused.. 😧

So this guy I was with for a few years cheated on me and did me dirty. We were engaged. He cheated on me with this girl from the gym. When I found out. All I heard was excuses. My heart broke. I cut him off completely. Then I met this girl. Who once went through the same thing. And we both have issues with men. I'm very feminist. And I was in a chauvinistic relationship. Anyways. I think I love her. We have expressed our effections. But my ex came back. And I'm just confused because he is still so in love with me. Bug I can never looks at him the same. And my family doesn't know anything and being gay is looked down upon in their religion. Please help. I've felt this way for a while. All I do is miss her and want to be with her.