Not bonding with baby bump?

Question

Hi,
I'm 14 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby (had 2 miscarriages last year) and I just don't feel like I'm bonding or it's sunk in yet. 
I love looking at the scan pictures and buying things etc but I just don't believe that I'll actually end up with a baby. I've had such a bad time in the past I can't stop thinking it won't happen so I don't want to get attached as I'll be heartbroken again. I worry before every scan that there won't be a heartbeat or I'll have reduced movements and something will go wrong.
On the other hand I don't want to spend the whole time being guarded as I don't want to ruin the pregnancy. 
Has anyone else had this experience? Thanks x

Answer

Thanks ladies! We have a 16 week gender scan in 2 weeks so hoping that will make it seem more real and when the baby starts kicking/moving. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancies :)

Answer

Once you feel movement, it will get so much better. At least that's what I'm hoping. I have a 5 year old, but I had a missed miscarriage in September so I feel the same. It's like, while I'm hearing the heartbeat and getting scans I feel so happy. But otherwise, it's like I'm keeping distance between me and baby because the pain of losing it is unbearable.
Hang in there mama. It will get better :)

Answer

Totally get this. We lost our first at 22 weeks last year and whilst I'm so happy to be pg again it's really scary. I'm second guessing every symptom and whilst I'm looking at stuff I can't bring myself to buy anything yet. I think it's totally normal though and you just have to be kind to yourself and take it week by week ❤️

Answer

Going through the same thing. I've had two previous miscarriages before this pregnancy. I just can't seem to feel attached or very excited. I'm not sad or anything. I think it's our mind's way of trying to protect its self from further pain and anguish if for some reason this pregnancy doesn't go as planned as well. I was so excited with my other kids but with this one I can't seem to get there. I'm hoping once I'm further along and get kicks and know the gender I'll be able to finally feel a bond.

Answer

I think that's normal, it's kind of hard to bond with something that doesn't bond back. You have plenty of time, I wouldn't worry

Answer

I'm sort of in the same boat. I had a missed miscarriage in august and am currently 15 weeks. I know the baby is in there because I hear the hb on my doppler every few days, and we got the genetics test and found out it's a boy, but it still doesn't seem real to me. I haven't had an ultrasound since 7 weeks and won't get one until 20. I'm not really showing, just getting chunkier and I haven't felt him move. I try to get excited and I'm getting more excited as the days go on, but I don't think it will become really real to me until after the 20 week scan.

Answer

We delivered our daughter at 20 weeks in October due to a neural tube defect. I'm 12 weeks now, we go for a scan to check for the same defect in just under 2 weeks. I'm so happy to be pregnant again but I completely understand where you're coming from, I'm afraid to get my hopes up just to be devastated again.

Answer

I'm in the exact same boat. 14 weeks pregnant with twins after 5 miscarriages.  I get a scan every week and I'm always heading in certainthus will be the scan the babies won't have heartbeats.  I'm nervous to buy things because I can't imagine how I'll feel having to look at it if something goes wrong.  Yet st the same point want to be prepared and have what  I need.  Trying to enjoy this process but history has made that very challenging. Doctor keeps saying everything looks great so im trying to believe that but I can sympathize with you completely when you say it's hard to bond and enjoy.

Answer

Hugs 😇 I understand.  Every burp fartsy hiccup and sneeze scares me. 
This is my 7th pregnancy. My first being twins with one baby girl passing. My only living child is 9 and this is the farthest we've gotten in pregnancy. I'm 14 week 3 days. 
I'm super excited and scared to be excited at the same time. I've only shared with the closest of family and friends and my husband told and shows everyone he can find.
Maybe once we get the n3xt ultrasound it'll sink in.
You'll be in my prayers. 👣

Answer

Feel the exact same way, in your almost exact same situation. Although im kinda doing it more on purpose just incase something goes wrong. I hate a later term mc around 7 months last year and then another one around 3 months. So im trying not to get too attached incase something goes wrong. Give it time sweetie! Once you find out the gender im sure youll start bonding!

Not bonding with baby bump?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey