Antidepressants and pregnancy

Sorry but if a long  post 
I have a history of depression and have been on and off antideprrssants over the last 10years.
Last year I found out I was pregnant and was told by my doctor I couldn't be taking these while pregnant as it causes all sorts of defects so much so we decided not to go ahead.
I made it my mission to come off the antideprrssants which I have been now for around 9months, however my partner seems to think I should go back on them seeing my behaviour change, 
Argumentative 
Miserable 
Irritability
loss of interest 
Headaches
Boredom 
Fatigue
Low sex drive (not good ttc)
Feeling worthless 
Low self esteem 
Difficult in decision making 
Lack of energy 
Disturbed sleep 
Avoiding people 
The list goes on according to him so my question is how manny of you have been taking antidepressants while pregnant and were there any side effects or problems with the pregnancy/baby?
Don't want to go back on them as it feels like I've failed being off then and can't cope without them.