Trust issues

Im going nuts!! I feel like i can only trust my boyfriend like i feel in my heart i cant trust my family all they do is put me down and make me feel useless i thought i could trust his family but his brother hates me becuase my bf andi are havin a baby and he keeps pushing us to get an abortion an i would never do that his mom talk bad about me behind my back i feel so betrayed by everyone inmy life except him and my supposeive friends all are talking shit about me idk what i can do anymore i starting to get really depressed again witch is never good im so scared of even trusting myself. I feel like all i do is let the people i love let down and dissappointed in me if i cant trust myself how can i make people happy but i know i have to be happy to make others happy but i cant be happy i feel like i shouldnt be happy at all that im not allowed to be happy i find myself other crying to myself i feel so stupid!!!! Idk what to do i really need to get outta this state of mind. I just cant i have no one to talk to and my boyfriend just tells me i need to stop having a pitty party an im trying but i feel so lonely and unhappy but i love him with every fiber in my body i just feel like i dont deserve o be happy. (Please dont judge me)