Marrying to Military or Marrying Man ??

Question

Ugh I feel so confused. 
My bf is about to go to ranger school in a month plus another school after .. so anywhere from 4-8 months... we've lived together for over a year and he wants to ask my dad to marry me. I'm super nervous!

I'm really confused about military life and deployments and what I'm a loud to talk about and what I'm not a loud to talk about.

With his jobs after ranger school his deployments would only be 3 months at most, but soon will be the longest we're apart and I'm really scared about that. 
I know that doesn't sound bad, some SO are deployed for 9 months I know.. but I'm just so confused about this lifestyle.

Will my kids be traumatized that daddy kills people for a living?? 
I feel super confused on how to go about this. I love him so much it's nauseating but I don't get how to go about this.

Was anyone confused about this before they married their military man?  Does it feel like you're marrying into the military or you're romantic man who happens to be infantry ..??

Answer

Instead of saying daddy is killing people for a living say daddy is protecting our freedom for a living.

Answer

He isn't killing anyone . He is fighting to protect his country. His freedom , for his kids you and himself .

Military lifestyle is easy if you go with the flow . It's just a job that means being a military spouse ; supporting them when they need us the most. You have a big part to play.

My husband has been deployed 4 times (6 month deployment , 9 month , 11 months and then long underways in between (1 month -2 month ranges) make carepackages to send to him. Show him your support :) and remind him that you love him and will be always waiting

Answer

There's nothing to panic or worry about. I'm currently in Germany with my husband. Well sorta, he's deployed right now so I'm kinda by myself but there are group meetings called FRG. And it's where the family's of the person deployed get together and meet at least once a month. Our FRG here is the best, we always have a cookout and games to play with the families and kids. It's really nice. But no, I wouldn't say that his job is to kill people because it's not. He is there to protect our country, our land and people from danger. You will know what you can and can't talk about before he leaves or anything like that. They have to let you know. And ask plenty of questions. Military life is what you make of it. And I love it❤

Answer

My husband served 13 years and the first 5 of our daughters life. She doesn’t see daddy as a killer but as an “American” who serves our country and helped so many. Talk to your future kids instill in them the love of our country and that their daddy is protecting you and everyone else! My daughter loves her dad and she knows that he will always protect her and that’s all that matters.

Answer

Daddy doesn’t kill people for a living he protects our country and our freedoms from bad people who want to take it away. People with the mindset of they kill people for a living shouldn’t deal with the military. They don’t go out every day and kill someone. I know rangers who are right now sitting on their ass in an office filing paperwork. It’s not all glitz and glamour and it’s not bad at all. Does it suck sometimes yes. My husband is on a 6 month mission. But I married my man. The military just happened to come with it. You marry the man you love. You just get added into a huge gigantic community who (you won’t always get along with) but most of the time are he ONLY other people who understand your daily struggles. It’s tough and if you are seconds guessing yourself I’m sorry but I don’t think military life is for you. It consists of a lot of doing what your husband is told and not doing what you want. You have to put the army first and yourself last your man took an oath and signed away his all of his basic rights to make sure others have theirs. If you’re not prepared to deal with a lot of tough shit you won’t be able to handle it.

Answer

If he is going to ranger school get ready girl! It's a rough training...my husband came back like 1/2 the size he left and ate an entire box of ice cream sandwiches in the ga heat before they had a chance to melt, lmao! But it was worth every sleepless night, blister and lost pound if you ask him! I couldn't be prouder of him! Military life is a crazy ride and it's not easy on kids but it's their life and they don't know any different.  Your kids will have life skills that other people won't have simply bc they are part of a military family.  But if you choose him you are choosing his military life! You can't separate the 2 and if you try before he is ready you will basically be taking a piece of his heart away...these guys (and girls) are giving their whole self to join the military and it's the families job to support that! Good luck...I know you will do just fine being a military bride lol

Answer

If you love him none of it matters. My husband is a Marine and has deployed 5 times already. It's hard but you get used to it. He's worth the wait and every time he comes home 🏡 it's like the most amazing feeling ever. If you want to marry him do it. If not. Don't.

Answer

My husband is 2/75. Ranger. Sgt. He is the absolute love of my life. Oh man though. Ranger school is so hard. They are put through a lot with no communication with you. It is brutal. 
Deployments,  they are short, thank the lord. My husband has had pretty good communication with me when he's gone. Training cycles are hell. So busy. Long days. 
Get ready to be independent. Get ready to run the house. Typical house wife over here, house stays clean, dinner is done when he gets home, if it's a late night then there's a plate ready for him. I pack his lunch for him everyday for optimal time for us to spend together. I was raised in a military family, my dad was in, my mom was a police officer. I was in the Air Force. 
We talked for two years about ttc until last year we finally decided we would try. There's been a struggle for him with me raising our child when he's gone and busy a lot. I will tell our child that daddy has to be away so we can be safe always. Don't forget our Ranger in the sky. God bless. 
We have open communications about our daily struggles. About his job and things we plan for the future. 
Remember that Rangers have great programs for spouses or girlfriends. They have a good family support. There will always be someone there for you going through this. 
And if you ever need anything, you can always talk to me. 
RLTW.

Answer

The best advice I can give is to just stay flexible and roll with the punches. Yeah they're gone a lot and that can be really really hard but you can't let yourself obsess over it or count down days until they're back (because that can change at a moments notice). Just roll with it and try not to look at his job as killing people because that's not necessarily true. Your kids won't be traumatized

Marrying to Military or Marrying Man ??

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