Anyone else been in this situation?

Question

Quick backstory: I have a 2 and a half year old little boy. Me and his father split just after he was born. I am now with a wonderful man who I am marrying in five months! His father is still a massive part of his life and apart from occasional rows we get along. However my ex does not like my current partner, no reason in particular, just doesn't as I think he still has some lingering feelings for me.
My dilemma: I am throwing my son a party his 3rd birthday and inviting all of his friends from nursery and outside of nursery. This includes my fiancé's nephews and nieces that my son adores. I have spoken to his dad about it as I would love for him and his family to be a part of this, even though we do not all get along. My ex has basically said that his family will not be coming as my current partner and his family will be there and is now in a complete strop with me saying that I am being out of order. I understand that we aren't all exactly the best of friends but this isn't about us, it's about our son having a wonderful party with all his friends and loved ones....
Am I the one in the wrong? All opinions welcome. I just don't know what to do.

Answer

Sounds like your ex needs to grow up and move on. The party is for your son. Not him.

Answer

I love that you are mature about these situations. He needs to grow up the party is not about him its about your son.  My husband ex is a mess.  She didnt want their daughter around me for no other reason than her own hate.

Answer

Your fiancé's family will be your son's family so it's great they're invited!
 
It's your ex's choice to throw a wobbly and opt out, rather than support his boy. That's not your responsibility. You didn't do that - he did.
 
You can't tiptoe around his feelings. They're his feelings, and if he still feels for you, he needs to go deal with that himself & work through.
It's not right for him to emotionally manipulate you.

Answer

Under positive circumstances coparenting is what's best. If people can't get along it's best to insulate the children from that. It's really unfair to them otherwise. It can cause anxiety and emotional problems for the child bc of loyalty issues. Your child is young. Hopefully you can work through these issues with their father and things will change. I sound like a broken record but google The Smart Stepfamily. It's a great resource that has helped me navigate through things will my kids, their father, my husband, our children, my stepdaughter, her mother, and everyone's extended family. It can be so complicated but the info in the program simplifies it.

Answer

Personal opinion - no you're not in the wrong, like you said the party is for your little boy. His dad is still a big part of his life and by the sounds of it you're not pushing him away but if he continues with his attitude he's going to miss out on events (e.g. The party) maybe you could get your partner to take him out for a drink or something so they can get to know each other better

Anyone else been in this situation?

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