to scared to test

I have been struggling with PCOS for years now. I was officially diagnosed awhile back and have been taking medication, and finally have a "semi normal" period. I stoped having sex with my husband because if I wasn't having sex I didn't have to even worry about getting another negative test. I was in control, well the last month or so he's been unusually on board with having a baby so we have been baby dancing quite frequently. The last few days I've been very very bloated and just about everything has been making me sick to my stomach. I made scrambled eggs for breakfast one day because it sounded good and after one bite I had to throw it away. The smell and the texture just about did me in. I want to take a test so badly. It would just destroy me if it was negative.