i don't understand love

i have a complicated relationship with my ex and it's really starting to weigh heavy on my heart. we broke up 3 months ago and have seen each other and talked about how we feel many many times since then.

when i finally decided to actually let this shit go, we went 2 weeks with no communication but then he reached out to me talking about how he messed up and he misses me and blah blah.

last night we had another long talk and he said everything about us is great but i just need to work on expressing my honest true deep feelings to him sometimes. and he's right.

we haven't gotten back together because the conversation always ends with us agreeing that it's best for us to be apart. but then it ends up with one of us always caving and reaching out to the other.

i just feel torn cause i really want to move on and live life without him because this whole breakup is so emotionally exhausting but at the same time my love and attachment to him runs so deep that i feel like eventually it could work out if we just stopped trying to pull away from each other.

i just need some outside opinions or stories or something, I'm hoping maybe it will bring me a little fresh air clarity from the mess of emotions I'm feeling.