so today I wouldn't normally post something so close to me but feel like I'm looking for a window for there to be a way to help me deal with not falling pregnant and losing 3 of the baby's that could have made me the most happiest mum in the world and to experience being pregnant, it's so hard for me at the moment everyone in my family is having kids my sister is pregnant, my partners sister is pregnant my partners cousin just had her baby 1month old  and to top it off my best friend has a one week old baby, I found it really hard to deal with my last miscarriage at 9 weeks I was in so much pain, I had to have a curette done I had a rough patch where I started drinking every night crying to myself wishing I had my baby back my partner didn't know how to help me I had to do it myself 😞 I guess what I'm trying to say in all of this is please give me the strength to have my 1st baby I wish everyone a healthy 9 months 👶🍼💗