Baby shower / Birthday party - CANCELLED!

Coconut
Im due April 8 and my bday is April 4, so I intended on having a dual party on the 1st. Well, with all these emotions and fucking unhappiness throughout this pregnancy, what is there to celebrate? So I cancelled it, sending everyone a "Party cancelled" message! Budget isn't there, I'm not happy and don't feel like being social, I'm not fucking much with the BD, just not in a good space mentally or emotionally! Ready for this chapter / time in my life to be done with and I know and live happiness and peace again! This has been a rough pregnancy, emotionally. It's been a rough 2 years in all! So sick and tired of it all! Wish I could jump into the ocean but can't, have to take baby steps! Wish I could drive to the highest hill and scream but can't because that too will affect the baby! Just have to try and remain as calm as possible, tho some days are more challenging than others... lucky for all of you who have your partner totally dedicated to you! Lucky for all of you who's experienced blissful happy pregnancies! For me, this is the pits!