Let me first say: Gay does not look a certain way! Gay does not mean people look or act a special "gay" way. Some might act a little more like the opposite side of their gender, but a lot of straight people are the exact same way.

I grew up with my mom trying to change me as to "not be gay". Using homophobic stereotypes (especially physical ones) to describe your child as less than will always make them feel like they're not good enough. I grew up being told (from before kindergarten) you can't be tall AND fat, people will think you're gay. You can't have bushy eyebrows... you look like a man people will think you're a lesbian. You need to make your voice higher and talk like a girl, with your low manly voice they're gonna think you're gay. Don't you know you're Omas mom left your great grandpa for a woman? Do you know how disappointed Oma would be with you if you were gay too.

I'm glad I'm straight because I couldn't imagine what all those words would have done to me if Gay had been a part of my identity and she was telling me it was wrong or bad. Without being gay, I didn't know what I could change to make myself seem to not be this terrible "gay" thing. I was pretty homophobic myself growing up because I just thought that's what I had to be. I had to prove I wasn't gay, because everyone thought I was and gay was this bad thing.

I'm so happy that I ended up in a very liberal area and got more exposed to the truth about things. But it's terrible to label anyone. Just let kids be kids and people be people. Love people and stop being so darn controlling and nosy. Let people wear what they want to and look how they want to... whether or not they're straight, gay, cis, trans, etc. making someone feel lesser because of how they look/sound/dress/act. Is terrible. This fits pretty much anything (including racism, xenophobia, etc.).

All I can say is: I'm so sorry to any gay people that went through this experience and had their parents invalidate their existence. This blatant homophobia hurt me, but I couldn't even imagine how it felt for those who actually had that as part of their identity.

nose ring is stuck