Why -.- *rant*

Question

So I was adopted at birth (16 hrs old when my parents took me home) and I'm cool with people knowing I'm adopted. It's whatever. But what I HATE is when they find out I haven't met them (Dna givers) and they like completely go off on how I "need" to meet them and "dont you want to know you're *real* parents" no. I know my real parents. They raised me. They fed me and clothed me and watched me grow up. I just don't have an interest in meeting her because she's not my mother. She never will be and to be completely honest I don't want some woman to think she'll ever have the place in my life that's anywhere near that REAL mom does.

Is anyone else here adopted? And if you are do you know what I mean? :/

Answer

Situation isn't like yours but that is how I feel towards my father.

He was absent pretty much throughout my childhood. He rarely called during my time in middle school and in 10th grade is when he actually tried forming a relationship with me. I don't respect him as a father. My father is my mother. She had to bust her ass to raise to kids by herself and she is one hell of a lady. No one will ever replace that title and I won't give him the satisfaction of ever thinking he will. That title is earned through sacrifice, devotion, responsibility and love. None of which he's ever put in an effort to do until I was old enough to actually cut him off.

I respect him as a friend but never will I accept him as a father. During daddy father events, I brought my mother. People laughed and made fun of me but I didn't care. I was jealous at a point in my life where I wished to have my father take me to daddy daughter events but

Answer

I am adopted too (so is my younger brother) and i have never met my dna givers as u say.  I have no desire to meet them. My mother and father raised me and those are my parents.  i am thankful everyday that i was adopted by them!   I have never felt like  or was treated like i was adopted even though i have always known.  The Only reason i would look into it was if i needed medical history but i wouldnt want to actually meet them or have them in my life.  But even though i dont want to meet them doesnt mean that i have anything against them it means they gave me up to have the best life possible because they couldnt provide that and for their decision i am thankful to them

Answer

I can see how that would get under your skin, but I know adopted people (my best friend was adopted), and she loves her biological mother (not her "real mother", as some very insensitive people might say). She has a tighter bond with her parents, of course, but she always gets excited when she can go see her extended biological family. She has so many sisters and cousins, and they love each other, even if they're not as close as they'd like to be!

Answer

My husband was adopted, as a toddler though, so the situation is a little different.  His biological mom, uncle, and grandma were in his life growing up (not like all the time, but every once in a while they would visit them) but he doesn't know his bio dad and probably never will.  He was literally just a sperm donor.. Apparently has like 20 other kids with different people... So he really has no reason to know or find the guy. 
I think it's totally normal to not care to know your birth parents... Some people want to, and some people don't.  Either way, it's completely okay!  People need to worry more about themselves.

Answer

I am adopted as well. But my adoptive parents then got a divorce shortly after, and my entire maternal side of aunts and uncles are adopted. I think every situation is unique. I have met my biological patents. Turns out they had me at 15/16 and we're not able to keep me. They ended up having 4 kids (the oldest just bio-dad's) and are still together 24 years later. I'm glad I met them. And love seeing them here and there. But I don't think it is a necessity. You do what it right for you. People forget if you do find them it can be hard on the other people who have been in your life, and that isn't always worth it. I say do what you are comfortable with!

Answer

My "sperm donor" left when I was a few months old. My mom married when I was 4 and he is the most amazing dad. He adopted me. I have no desire to ever find him. My mom has pictures of him and that was enough for me.

Answer

I was also adopted and I always wanted to find my birth mom. But it wasn't really what it was cracked up to be. I've been highly independent since I was young (according to birth mom when we finally met again) and being abused and neglected by foster parents pretty much made me my own person. So when I did meet her and decided to live with her, it didn't work. She's a parental person, and I'm my own person. I didn't like her telling me what to do, I hate people telling me to leave (which she did to all of us when she got mad, she never meant it) plus I felt like a huge burden because she's s single disabled parent with now four kids in two bedrooms. So I left. I felt terrible, but I knew it was the right thing to do. When I am finally on my own with my own job, and can get my own place, I'll go back and help out. But it really depends on how you feel. Most people think that all kids want to know their birth parents. But they're probably just getting it from foster kids. Or think that your parents absolutely have to see you and that's not the case. You do what you feel you should.

Answer

It's up to you and no one can force you. My cousin is adopted and I don't think she has any interest. My other cousin never knew who her father was and she met him and regrets it because he was just a drunk. However I have heard of good stories of people meeting birth families. If I was you I probably wouldn't be interested in my birth parents more if I had any siblings since it's not their fault the parents gave me up.

Answer

My moms boyfriend was adopted and he doesn't want to meet his parents. His adoptive mom(term?) has the papers on how to contact them and everything but he just doesn't care to know them. They gave him up because they wanted him to have a better life than they could provide for him. Then again we have a family friend that put her son up for adoption for the same reason, she didn't feel like she could give him the life he deserved and provide for him, and she just met him a couple of years ago and is a part of his life now.

Why -.- rant

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