conflicted

So I've been in a relationship with so off and on again for 4 yrs now and the last two yrs have been hell. I have become emotionally detached to him bc of the way he treats. But I don't want to leave bc I I have a 1yr old with him. I also have two other kids who have different daddy's 1 dad left when my oldest was 6mos old and I have heard from him since, and my middle child's fathers was mentally physically and emotionally abuseive. So I feel like if I leave I'll be looked at as a whore bc I have 3 baby daddies. Idk what to do, all I want is to feel an emotional connection with some and one day get married, but I don't think anyone will want to be with me.