crush issues 🙄

julia
i have a crush on this guy who's super cute.. but we've only talked a couple times and tbh i dont really know if he notices me much.
he's dating this girl i used to be friends with and i'm feeling really jealous???
i know its normal to feel that way but i just..
i get worked up because i've never really had a LEGIT RELATIONSHIP before and i feel like its KINDA unfair that people like this girl get it so easily and i can't seen to ever find someone to date that doesnt end up being a total jerkface or someone who intimidates me.
i feel like i'm never gonna win; no one is ever gonna want to date me that i would actually feel comfortable giving a shot to.
its just really frustrating because its all i want in life. i've been patient, i've tried putting myself out there (even when it backfired on me), i've tried giving chances to people who shouldnt have been given chances... i dont know what else there is to do and i'm losing hope. i'm so angry i could cry. no one seems to understand my pain and their words of comfort only hurt my feelings or make me feel like a horrible person..