Before I start with this, yes I know it could be worse and I don't need anyone saying that to me.

My boyfriend and I have been officially together since August of 2016 after being friends with him for five years, prior to that I was in a very abusive relationship for four years. I have ptsd from some of the things that my ex did to me, my current is very understanding of that.

On top of ptsd I have little spouts of depression and very bad anxiety that is no longer medicated as I haven't reacted well to any of my anxiety meds that I've tried... I've been to therapy and for the most part have it under control.

For this man I'm with, I have moved away from my family in N.Y. to FL, uprooted myself and everything. I don't regret anything I've done for him at all. Since moving to FL in January of this year, I found out that he was on dating sites. He says that he never was physical with any of the women, just talked inaproprietly with them. I half believe that. Since I found out, and we had many many discussions he has stopped being unfaithful and really dedicated himself to me (hear me out, I know it sounds unbelievable but I have access to everything of his at all times) so he's working to earn my trust back. That's all fine and dandy.

February 16th we found out that were expecting our rainbow baby. We miscarried in October (accidental pregnancy) and then again in December after trying for the baby. We stopped trying after our December loss and decided to let whatever happens, happen.

Were both very excited to have our baby. And he's stepped up got us a beautiful town home and has provided me with everything I've ever needed.

My problem I guess is I just feel so alone down here and don't know what to do...