just wanting to talk....

Me and my boyfriend have been talkin for a year now and he is the first guy I have been with in 11yrs and since day one it's been unprotected yet protected sex using the withdrawal method. I wanted to try a new method of BC, so I tried the ring and found out that I'm actually allergic to the hormone in BC. So back to square one rite....wrong ever since I found this weird news out 2months ago, he hasn't been pullin out anymore. Also I don't do condoms they kill my ph balance and don't feel comfy lol. Not that we are TTC though cuz he already might have a baby on the way with an ex (whole another story on that seeing as tho we been talkin for a year as I stated in the beginning 🙄) and I know he isn't even ready for that baby if it's his, let alone if I was to actually become pregnant as well. Just a few weeks ago he asked me if I was to become pregnant rite now would I keep it and defensively I said yes I'm against abortions and at least you would know it's yours, not trying to be shady just being real, and since then he hasn't once tried to pulled out. I love this man And every month there are close calls.... but this month might be a little different 😶😶. Crazy enough I'm in the 2ww period and I want to have a baby but I don't think it would go so well if I was to become pregnant  😕 it's quite sad but I can understand why. I turn 26 in 2 1/2months and the closer I get to 30 it makes me have baby fever even more. Honestly I really do hope this month Is that month 😌😌 I'm well beyond ready.