I'm depressed and feel like it would be better if i didnt exist anymore.

This is a prolonged problem I've had for 8 years. Now I have a crying having ass child who is about to be 10 months with a baby daddy in prison. And family that doesnt help or care at all. I never have time for myself, my baby cries even if she thinks im leaving her side, when she crys my family complains and starts arguments with me. I'm on a 5 week waiting list to get back into therapy, I have no car and thats the closest one I can walk too. I dont have any self discipline to even keep a schedule. Because when I attempt to do things on COMPLETELY to change my life, they dont go well because I get distracted by my own bad habits or give up and its always in the moment. I could ise some help until I can actually get therapy in 5 weeks. Any help or advice or anything is appreciated? Please no rudeness. My god im down. I know im a screw up. How do i become happy?