Today I turned 25. All my life I always wanted to be a mother at 25. I don't know why it was just something I pictured for myself. Today it's been 11 months and 3 days since I been praying for a baby. Today was the day my period was suppose to start.  I decided last month I am not going to take anymore tests. I am not ready for another heartbreak. Especially on this day. Today I found out my sister in law is pregnant with her second baby. She and I started trying together. I am not jealous. I am happy for her. That's going to be my brothers baby. I am sad for myself. I am sad that I can't conceive. I am sad for all the women out there who are struggling to have a child. Nobody told me it was going to be this difficult. I went into this thinking I can do this but now I am not so sure anymore. I am praying for all of you ladies out there. I hope god makes it easy on you guys. I hope you all get to experience what's it's like to hold your baby for the first time ❤