Depression

I have had depression sense I was 15 I'm 24 now I also did a lot of self harming for a long time it gad so bad to the point were I ended up in the hospital for my self harming and they put me on antidepressants but honestly they didn't help they made me feel worse so I made the decision of trying Marijuana for the first time ever and it work I was fanally able to control my depression I stopped self harming and for 4 years I had my depression under control.

Depression never gose away but you learn to live with it and to not let it control you but the I found out I was pregnant with my now beutyfull 6 week old baby boy and of course I stopped smoking weed but unfortunately at about 5 months pregnant the depression got stronger I didn't hurt my self because I didn't want to hurt my baby boy after he was born I was going to star smoking again but I didn't because I'm breastfeeding and I don't know if it's safe but honestly I feel my self getting more and more depressed and it's so scary I love my baby more than life itself and I know he should be my reason for not feeling this way but that's not how depression works and I'm really scared I don't want to feel this way I don't want to be so unhappy but I feel like I'm drowning and I have no one to turn to