I. need. help. pronto.

Okay, there's this guy I've liked for longer than I can remember, and we tried dating for awhile and then I rejected him, because I didn't want to tell my parents. I still really really like him but he's friend zoned me multiple times, and my heart breaks constantly. And let me just say this, I cant flirt cute. I'm a jerk when I try and flirt. But with him it comes naturally. Everytime he tells me bye I end up in tears. I don't wanna be obsessed with him and I want to move on. But everytine I try I end up in the same place. An because if it I've almost ruined our friendship many times, I don't wanna live like this. Any advice?