the words I never wanted to hear

I went in for a weekly check up to my obgyn since Friday I ended up at the er with a really high fever. Dr said my blood clot caused an infection and sees the clot is growing around the gestational sack. Today my obgyn told me it doesn't look good I'm measuring at 6weeks exactly and no fetus is visible, he said to get blood drawn and have a follow up next week to see if there is a fetus, if not he has to rule it out as a miscarriage. I seriously never thought anything like this was going to happen to me, my pregnancy with my first son was healthy I don't know what happened. I don't know how to feel I guess I'm in shock or not understanding right idk I want to be undeniable I don't want to believe this is true. I know there is a god who is mighty and he won't give me something I can't handle!!! I pray things change. I just had to get this out my chest