I'm 39 weeks pregnant due anytime now. My emotions are everywhere.

Sucks when you have 2 guys after you also. It might be a dream to atleast have that many people after you but its not. One is the babies father and the other is this guy I was dating last year when I conceived. ( we will say "A" is father and "B" is supposed to be ex )

Ok so "B" I was dating for practically 11 years on and off was on for 5 years was even engaged. Well I started to feel unhappy and lonely for the past 2-3 years everything that we did together always felt like we were friends not lovers. We tried for kids and never succeeded . when I started to work it felt like he didn't care about anything. Not that I needed sleep or half the money I was getting was supposed to be saved not used for stupid stuff. And I was more of the responsible one to buy actual food not junk like he does when he gets money. We were renting a room from people for the past 3 years me and him and my cat it was tiring and I felt trapped. I would come home from work and just sit in my room and only leave it to get food or use the bathroom and my cat was in the room with me all the time. The last person we rented from had 4 cats and the place was gross so my depression would take over big time. Now my ex had a bad attitude especially when he smokes pot he snaps at people and it gets ugly. Hes snapped at me and made me feel down. But I felt like we weren't gonna have our own apartment for a very long time.

Now I started talking to guy "A" the beginning of last year he was an old friend from school so I knew him pretty good. Well we only started talking as friends nothing more but then we both realized that we had strong feelings for each other. A few months passed with flirting and what not and one thing lead to another and were having a baby. And I know its not the other guys bc we didn't really have sex either. I know alot of people are gonna be like oh you should of left guy "B" before you did that. I had no where to go. No family or friends around or that could take me and my cat in. I know what I did and I own up to it everyday. Well I hid my pregnancy from guy "B" and friends and family that weren't close to me for a very long time. I didn't start showing till I was about 4-5 months and the father was able to get an apartment of his own in January we had talked about it since I was trying to do the right thing and leave the other guy so the apartment is under my name too. Well when I finally was able to move and leave the other guy it felt like a normal break up until people got into his head and said to take this as a break right now. Well a month goes by I still didn't tell him about my baby so I finally wrote a letter stating that I'm officially breaking up with him and that I had cheated on him and in results got pregnant. Well he said he wasn't mad and still loves me agreed to be broken up for a while bc I was so emotional. Well he would never stop talking to me.I feel like I'm getting stalked now. He has to be texting me every waken moment and calls me too. He knows where I live so he comes over too and hangs out with me. ( at first I thought we could be friends ) as soon as my fb says I'm active in gettimg messages from him like are you ok honey and what are you doing up sweetheart. Now I've been telling everyone that were not together and how i feel . but he's been telling everyone that were back together and things are going great and were moving back to that bedroom we were renting . and calling my son his son. 1) that bedroom is small 2) the house is not a healthy place to be and 3) we will be in one room again and its a far walk ( 45 mins ) to the closest bus stop. Im really not trying add more stress to me and go into labor bc of it but I'm realizing that's all I'm causing by not saying anything is more and more stress.

I feel like I should be here with the father and be with the father where I actually have been starting to feel happy with. We have alot of space and its wicked clean my cat can roam around and be free in the house. Our son has a room and everything. And I feel like me and the father are gonna get along real good to raise our son. I really really like him too. My mind has been flip flopping between the 2 guys but I need to do what makes me happy and now what's best for my son. But why am I so confused. I need to make up my mind very soon. I don't know what to even say either. It makes me cry.

Guy "B" also wants me to kiss him and say I love you baby and I don't really feel comfortable or a connection either.

Add on : and what sucks is guy "B" wants to know everything that I'm doing and who im talking to and where am I going. Its like I have to have my phone glued to me now.