Not a big deal, or flat-out rude?

Question

So last night my husband went to a party at a community house that we used to live in. The host of this party is a friend of my hubby's, but he doesn't know me too well. That being said, my husband was invited to this party and I was not!!

I assumed it was common courtesy to invite  both the husband and wife when there were lots of people involved. If it were a guy's night out or a small get-together or whatever, that totally makes sense, he's gotta have his free time, after all. But I was a little hurt when I heard after it was over that this was a large party and my husband went despite me not being invited. I told him I was so disappointed, and he said I was overreacting because the host shouldn't have to invite me if he doesn't know me!!

Am I totally overreacting, or do I have a right to be upset?

Answer

I don't go to parties unless my husband is also invited. That's how it's supposed to be in pretty sure, or at least in my marriage. It's obvious that if he gets invited to a family party I'm going to.

Last summer his friends had a bbq and I went too even though I haven't met them yet. It was a good opportunity to meet the rest of his friends too.

If there was a lot of people there, and not specifically a boys night out or anything, you should have gone together. A taken man always brings his woman and most people understand this so it wouldn't have been rude for you to go

Answer

It's weird you weren't invited. My husbands friends always invite me even the ones I have never met. It's just normal to invite both husband and wife. I am assuming they know about you, right? With that being said I personally wouldnt even want to go if I wasn't invited. My husband probably would have asked if I could go. I can see why you're hurt by it. Like I said it's weird and rude you weren't invited.

Answer

In my opinion rude. Does his friend not want to meet you? lol that what have been the best time. Lol

Answer

Honestly when I invite one of our friends somewhere I us lay just tell him or her I assume they both would come they are a couple

Answer

I read through the comments as well. First off it is a red flag that he didn't tell you it was a party until after. Secondly I don't know y'alls relationship but the way I kind of felt about reading this was the husband didn't want you to come and is laying the blame on the friend knowing you would probably never confront the friend and then would never know he lied about it. 
At this point it sounds like your husband has lied twice. I'd confront the friend about it. Just to see if your husband was lying. And I think you have every right to be upset. My husband wouldn't go to a party without me, and if the host said I wasn't welcome then my husband wouldn't go. It sounds to me like your man is invalidating you by saying you shouldn't be upset because he doesn't want to deal with it. But even if he doesn't want to deal with it you can still be upset.

Answer

My husband would have asked if he could bring me. I'm sure the host would not have said no.

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I'd go anyways. Lmao. I would get ready and be waiting in the car to go when he got out there to leave. Mine doesn't mind though cause if he is invited he brings me anyways cause he want me there. Same with me. If they don't like me being there we both go home.

Answer

That's hard. I would be upset, but at the same time I wouldn't care. He's a grown man. Secondly, my husband wouldn't go somewhere I couldn't even if I told him to go. There was a Christmas party at his work and they were having it at a bar, but he didn't go because I was pregnant. I would have gone and got cranberry juice and I even told him that it's ok for him to go, but he didn't want to go without me and felt bad because it's a bad and I couldn't drink. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

I don't know if I would call it rude but if you would've went and he would've been upset that would've been rude. I mean my fiancé drags me anywhere even without me being invited because everyone we know knows that we go everywhere together. I don't think you're overreacting but maybe he thought you would just come along anyway

Answer

He probably just didn't think of it; if it's a big party one assumes you can bring your SO/bff/whatever. I mean it would be nice if he had thought of it but next time I'd just go too. Small parties or ones with dinner are the only invite-only ones imo.

Not a big deal, or flat-out rude?

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