1dpo & wanting to rant abit!

so like the title says, im 1dpo. im on round three of clomid cause i dont ov on my own & i got pregnant on round too(50mg) but had a chemical. i got all excited & anxious cause ive heard lots of stories on people conceiving right after chemical before period but of course i got my period in the beginning of april. im now on 3rd round of clomid & now im on 100mg which i wasnt sure if i needed 100mg but whatever, drs orders. this was my second miscarriage & ive been having lots of mixed feelings like excitement that it could happen really soon but disappointment for the unknown on what if it takes another year etc. etc. i just really want to be a mom & i know people say it everyday on this app but its true, no one in the real world understands what im going through, everyday struggle & living a strict life on the hope to conceive. i was thinking about making a youtube channel to talk about my ttc journey but im really nervous because i have pink hair & tattoos & feel like no one will take me seriously. im not sure i also need a few extra bucks on the side as i have no job atm so maybe youtune could help a tad bit(not expecting 100s of dollars). idk!! my rant was all over the place but it helps to get it out, thanks for reading.