Hey ladies! I am 10w6d today! Super excited for our rainbow baby, but lately I have been battling some major body image issues. Buckle up...this is kind of a long post.

Since my last pregnancy, I have been carrying around a little...extra weight on me. I have actually embraced it (finally) after 6 years, and even though I always had a little more fullness in my belly region, I felt beautiful and healthy. I was even toying with the idea of starting a YouTube channel for makeup, beauty, body-positive content!

Here's the thing that's really bugging me. I'm having horrible hormonal acne. I have been refraining from coloring/bleaching my hair, and I've barely had the energy in the morning to get dressed...let alone put any makeup on! So, for about the last four weeks I have not worn any makeup, and my hair care regimen has also suffered.

On top of all of that...I am "showing". I want sooo badly to be excited about it, but I'm honestly not sure if it's baby, or just the fact that I am so bloated and probably gaining weight from my cravings. The worst part is that I feel like I look like a slob...a fat slob with acne now...and my "bump" (whether it's baby or just body changes) has me in this weird, awkward phase where it's like 'is she pregnant, or just gaining weight?' Nothing fits well anymore, and I am just having flashbacks to when the weight started packing on a little over 6 years ago.

To top it off, I have ladies at work asking me whether or not I will let them feel the baby kick...and this has been happening since before the baby even had little leg buds! People always think I'm waaay further along than I am, and they almost look disgusted and DEFINITELY surprised when I tell them I'm "only in the 10th week".

Anyone else dealing with/felt like this? I want to love my body, but I'm almost ashamed because I feel like I'm just fat. This little lime can't be making me show this way right now. I feel like people are judging me. I haven't dared even take a picture of my bump, let alone post it on social media ( and I post EVERYTHING on social media).

I want to be one of those cool ass bitches that's just like "This is me! I love my body, and I don't care what you think!" But I'm just not. My self esteem is so low right now, that even when my husband tells me I'm beautiful I think he's lying or being sarcastic. Can't get out of this funk! Idk what to do. Ideas?

So...I'm just hoping I'm not the only soon-to-be-mommy out there who is feeling this way.