I just wanted to...I guess vent..

Today, my boyfriend was down to have sex--he has a lower sex drive, so I'm thinking to myself--no, I am SINGING to myself "Finallllyyyy!!!!" He's the only guy I've had sex with that's turned me down multiple times, including two nights ago, so I decided not to initiate sex anymore, it's all up to him and it keeps me sane. Anyways, so he was down to have sex and I was so freakin excited. We were getting into it and then suddenly, like 10 min into it, he's like "We should probably take a shower. Blah is going to be here."

Okay. I understood that, but I was upset at the fact that he started it in the first place 😭😭😭 I feel like he just doesn't like having sex with me. I must be too boring or something. So I got off him and he went to go start the shower. I cried a little and then went to join him since we didn't have a lot of time until Blah came over. I slowly got ready while he put the sheets in the washer and waited to greet Blah. I don't know. He makes me feel inadequate and I don't think that's his intention at all. My sex drive is so high and I feel like this is what's going to break us up--I thought I could deal with his lower sex drive but I'm not so sure anymore. I'm staying away from him for the week so that I can get myself together. I'm so tired! I give so much to this guy and I love him, but I'm tired of feeling rejected. I never knew our sex life would get this bad. 😩

Thank you to those who read the whole thing. I just needed to get it out somehow. 

Edit: to clarify, Blah is a person. Didn't want to use an actual name. Sorry if that confused some of you.