does age matter?

Question

Okay, so I know I'll get a lot of negativity from this...but he's 57 and I'm 20. He makes me the happiest person alive. He was just my tattoo artist, but then it became more than that. We even work together, our relationship doesn't interfere with our jobs at all. We do everything in secret. What are your opinions on this? Please try not to be too harsh.

Answer

Then why is it a secret? What do either of you have to hide? If you're happy there's no amount of advice or opinion that matters. Personally I have a 17 yo daughter. I wouldn't be pleased or comfortable if 3 years from now she was dating someone 57. I'd have significant concern. I myself am 40. I divorced at 34. I had nothing in common with men in their 50s. They were interested. And they were interesting. Yet I just couldn't bc of the relatable factor. Not to mention my father is currently 62. Soooo I would've felt strange dating someone old enough to be my parent. My hubs is 5 years older and every once in a while even that age gap is problematic. That's just me though.

Answer

Honestly sounds creepy to me, your an adult do what you want but that relationship sounds concerning

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You're legal, so do whatever makes you happy 🤷🏼‍♀️

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That is a big age difference but who cares, if he makes you happy and you make him happy I see nothing wrong with it

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I'm 23 mines 49. I also wear a shirt with a middle finger on the back when going out. Congrats

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To me, ago is only a number. I've dated a few men who were quite a few years older than I. You should do what makes you happy. What worries me is the reason behind keeping it a secret. Is that a mutual agreement or are you being hidden, are you hiding him? Although I don't see an issue with an age gap, I'd personally be thinking about the long term...if you want children and how his age may affect his ability to interact or be there for them during big moments in their lives. Or what it may be like years ahead when you're still young and how his age may affect your lives together. In the end, if you're happy that's all that really matters. I'm just anxiety ridden and constantly question what's ahead lol

Answer

If you're really happy and that's what you want then go for it, but to be honest you're in for a tough road. A lot of people may not take you seriously on his side. You guys don't really have the opportunity to grow old together, while he may be retiring you'll just be establishing yourself. You guys have kids he may never get to hear the word "grandpa" things may be great now but 20 years from now while you're still in your prime are you going to be happy with a man who's nearly 80? Just a lot of questions to ask yourself

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It only seems to matter to people that are not in the relationship lol.... which shouldn't matter

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You're an adult. Live the life you want to live, not what others want you to live.

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It's your choice but think of how old he'll be when you're his age. Also you will probably outlive him. But do what's in your heart. If you are ok w that go for it. I couldn't date someone that much older. My husband is 7 years older.

does age matter?

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