Do we WANT a child? DH only agreed to this to make me happy

Question

Is that really enough reason to have a kid? I'm like 75% interested in having a child, but I'm 35+ and only recently developed mom yearnings. If DH is only in agreement to make me happy, should we stop TTC?

Answer

Being a parent is super hard so personally I would only want to do it with a partner who's fully on board. The past four weeks since my son was born have only been manageable because my fiancé is so involved

Answer

That is only a decision for you to make. My husband and I have kids. He didn't want to stretch the money any further and told me no more kids. Years go by I end up struggling with depression and saddens because my heart knew I wasn't done having kids. I explained this to him and he agreed to give me a baby because he wanted me to be as happy as he was and wanted me to have all my dreams come true. We are now pregnant and even tho he started out not wanting this but only trying to make me happy, he is excited I think more excited then me 😊.

Answer

I think 75% is enough that you could regret it if you don't.

Answer

It depends if he doesn't particularly WANT kids meaning he's not opposed to it but not something he wants vs he DOES NOT want to have kids. It also depends on your expectations in the relationship.  A friend of mine had a son with her husband who didn't want kids because he liked the freedom of going out etc and they had 1 to make her happy, they didn't really discuss expectations, she thought he'd come around once their son was born,  and he basically kept going out 2 nights a week without her (he plays poker and goes to the dog tracks, which the 2 of them used to do together before) and didn't want to pitch in with child care. He thought that'd be a given knowing he didn't want kids. They're divorced now. So if you do proceed with ttc just make sure the 2 of you are clear about what you need and expect.

Answer

I don't think you guys are ready to conceive yet. A guy should never give in to the idea of having a baby just to make someone happy. I'd feel guilty knowing that he did. And if you're only 75% behind the idea of having a baby, it sounds like you still have some more thinking to do.

Do we WANT a child? DH only agreed to this to make me happy

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