denial

Katie
I am struggling to realise that I actually have a baby... he's a miracle that was never supposed to happen.. and now he's here I still can't believe it.. 
I want my body back and after a csection I still cannot exercise. I don't blame this gorgeous bundle of joy one bit.
Im just struggling to believe he's here and he's mine and it's not just temporary... and I admit there are days where I wouldn't mind the ease of my life back.
I feel like I'm crazy for thinking this way.. 
anyone else out there?