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Okay question below..

I spoke to childline counsellor yesterday as I was feeling low in mood, and I felt extremely suicidal, they were really concerned for my safety and kept asking me loads of questions about how I was going to keep myself safe, I think they were determining whether they needed to call an ambulance or something.

I told them I felt worse and in lower mood than what I ever have, even when I made my last suicide attempts I feel lower now.

So there was no surprise that they were concerned.

The thing is, I've been having more suicidal thoughts today, and the urge to go to the shop & buy as many pills as I could was ridiculously strong, I don't know how but I go to the shop and some how managed to turn around. I really wish I had gone in there now thought & bought them.

I feel even lower today, an I'm thinking about going back online and talking to them and being honest, I'm not at any risk again tonight, there's nothing home, apart from I feel like I want to go to the shop again though, I actually still might.

I don't need to be hospitalised so I'm not sure if I should talk to them because I think they'll want to call police or ambulance..

I don't know, I just know I need everything to end.

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