Avoiding telling people is giving me anxiety!!!

Alyssa
I really really want to wait to tell family and friends.... but our loss in December made me regret telling anyone early. 
I am finding I'm avoiding making plans with family members because I'm showing (bloated but very obvious). 
I'm absent minded so I messed up double booking plans with my sister in law, and she wants to go swimming but I can't think of a good excuse not to go. 
We will keep waiting but I just needed to vent. It's stressing me out!!! I can't tell anyone at work so I faked back pain so I didn't have to lift anything (now I feel like a big fat liar!!) and I feel frumpy wearing baggy sweaters!) or in my personal life where I talk to my mom on the phone and feel so guilty for not telling her, and having to tell my dad no 3 times when he offered me a glass of wine when I usually would have had a half glass at least! Just can't wait to let this cat outta the bag