lonely and depressed

I'm 24 and I've never so much as held a guy's hand. I can only DREAM about my first kiss. Having a boyfriend. Sex. Etc. I feel sooo pathetic. 

I feel so lonely and broken inside. Like I'll never be good enough for anyone. It's not for a lack of trying. In the past, I've told guys how I felt. I've been made fun of. Ditched. Ridiculed. Told I was "too crazy" "too fat" "too weird" "too nice". My favorite: "I would fuck you but I would never marry you. No way." ..... Or the time everyone at my job found out I was a virgin and made fun of me behind my back and then eventually to my face. They were placing bets on it. 

I'm so tired of people telling me "You're only 24! You're still so young! You have your whole life ahead of you!" ..... Most of the time it's family or friends. I know they mean well. But everytime I hear that, I want to punch someone in the mouth. 

They don't know how much it hurts to be this lonely. Rejection after rejection. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Literally. Every time. 

No. No. No. 

It never gets easier. You get hopeful. "Maybe this will be the time a guy finally likes me back." Then you get "that look." You feel your heart in your throat and then it plummets down to your stomach and then it feels like it's being wringed out. So embarrassing. So stupid. 

I don't know what to do anymore... I've gotten advice. 

" Just lose weight." 

" You need to lower your standards." 

" You're too opinionated. Men don't like that."

I've been told to change aspects of my personality because I'm "not normal."

I don't know why I have to change myself to be liked or considered desirable. It hurts to know that no one will take me as I am. I'm watching my friends get married and starting families. I honestly believe that it will never happen for me. 

So I cry at night in my bed by myself. Knowing that no one hears me. No one would care. Probably sounds like an overreaction. But anyone who knows what this feels like would never wish it on another person. I already suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. This just makes everything so much harder.