Bfp after 2 miscarriages in 6 months

Ayala β€’ πŸ’ πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸŒˆ πŸ‘ΆπŸΌπŸ€°

What am emotional rollercoaster this process has been! Chemical pregnancy in October, which ended in the emergency room and bleeding for 3 weeks. Second miscarriages was in February but this time it was a vanishing twin so I went through grieving the loss of two in 1 pregnancy. On my 1 year anniversary I became pregnant and now I got my BFP yesterday. Waiting for my ultrasound next Friday, which will make me 6 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I am so scared! I don't actually feel pregnant! The only symptom I actually feel is extreme hunger and a bit edgier. I actually want to "feel pregnant".

The scariest party is that I have lupus, which can cause late term miscarriages or still borns. I have been given the ok by my doctor's to get pregnant but it is still so unsettling. How am I going to make it through the next 8 months?!

I have been meditating and praying daily hoping that with positive thoughts I will have an easy and complete pregnancy.

No one says hope unbelievably unsettling be pregnant is! All I want is to remain pregnant and give birth to a happy and healthy baby.

My husband is 42 and I am almost 34. We can't be trying forever. We want a few kids and I am really to do this.

Who else is so scared about going through this process? I haven't even thought about the pain with labor!

Whose with me?