don't know what to do..

Am I wrong? Am I wrong for crying and feeling depressed over a friend/ex that shot hisself in the cemetery yesterday? Am I wrong for mourning his death? Am I wrong for not wanting to believe he's really gone?... my boyfriend is jealous over it.. he doesn't appreciate me making posts about him.. am I wrong? He and I have been together for 4 years... the first two years were off and on.. the last two have been a steady commitment.. I love him.. but I don't know how to deal with this..