How do you approach your SO?

Question

When you need to talk to your SO about something important, how do you do it?

Answer

I'm very straight forward 🤷🏽‍♀️ so I be like " babe we need to talk "

Answer

Oh! Oh! I'm good at this game.

Very calmly. When he's most likely to be receptive (as in, not pouncing on him as soon as he walks in the door, or before he's had coffee, etc), I broach the topic by saying that I have something I'd like to talk about, and then ask if now's a good time or if he wants to do it later. And if he wants to later, he picks a time, but he has to actually pick a time. Can't just leave it at "Iunno, sometime later this week." If he won't pick a time, I reiterate that this is important to me/our relationship and would appreciate if he just took a few minutes to talk with me--reminding him no one is "in trouble" AND talking about it would be an opportunity to grow and understand each other more as a couple because our relationship is important. Postponing it, then, might risk damaging. So THEN we pick a time and we actively listen, sometimes using Socratic method, and speak to understand rather than to persuade.

Or...that's how it would go if I ever had a partner who appreciated my awesome conflict resolution skills. Most often I just get shut down repeatedly until I talk to him about it even if it's a bad time, then he doesn't care or make any efforts to show that my needs are important, we break up and I kick him out of my house.

Answer

I text him everything I have to say lol its just easier for me to start it off that way.

Answer

I just say "Love can we talk about something important?" ...and he says yeah and we just talk....

Answer

I usually don't have to... he reads me like a book. He brings it up, I tell him what I'm thinking, or I say it's kind of involved, when can we actually sit down and chat.

Answer

I have a few approaches but if it's a serious talk I ask him to reserve some time because I need to speak to him. I like undivided attention.

If it's something not so serious, I just bring it up at a good time.

If it's a conflict I always prefer a conflict to be resolved in a intimate setting, so no over the phones always in person.

I use a. Intimate setting to remind us that we are lovers and not adversaries. also so no mean spirited thoughts cross my mind or are spoken, I don't want the conflict to worsen

Answer

I just tell him I need to talk to him. But I have to tell him if its good or bad since he instantly thinks he did something wrong lol

Answer

I just say "hey can we talk about something?" And then we talk.

Answer

I drink first so i can get the courags to speak up lol but thats cuz ive always been the type of person who keeps to myself

How do you approach your SO?

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