Marriage advice please?

Question

No no no bashing or rude comments!
I feel like my husband 100% loves me, don't get me wrong. But I feel like he thinks I'll never go anywhere either... Ya know? Lately we've been having it rough. His lack of attention and quality time with me is a major problem. He is emotional-less & doesn't  talk to me about feelings or anything.. He works and sleeps during the week, but the weekend comes & he can chill with his friend. 😶 I hate to say it bc I'm a great wife... But I feel like my value of a wife has gone down already... 😕 tips and advice on spicing things up? Changing something?!? We really need a change, idk what though.

Answer

Tell him how you feel. Don't accuse him, or use any language that might come across that way, instead say things like "when you use your free time on the weekends to be with your friends it makes me feel hurt/ignored/alone." Instead of saying "you're not paying attention to me." (Not that you would say that)

Also, it sounds like quality time is important to you. Take an online test to find out what your love languages are. It takes like 5 minutes and will help each of you understand how to love each other better - and which areas not to neglect. ☺️

Answer

Do the Five Love Languages!

Answer

Hello sweetie, seems like there is a lack of or change in emotional connection.  Do you know if he has been depressed lately? Or any major changes with the death of a loved one or changing jobs etc.?  Maybe there is something stressful at work that he doesn't want to share?  Something that may make him feel like a failure or is ashamed of?

I also second the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Also Wife School by Julie Gordon. Which I can summarize here by just saying that you can love your husband well by showing him these 8 A's:  Acceptance, Admiration, Appreciation, Attention, Activities, Approval, Affection, Authority.  I am an independent alpha woman in a STEM field profession, but these old fashioned ways of showing my husband how I love and respect him has really opened up his heart towards me, and he has really stepped it up in all areas of our relationship with reciprocal love and respect.

But sounds like there is something going on here.  Besides life changes, stress or depression, is there a possibility that there is another woman or if porn isn't part of your marriage and is unacceptable for you, is that something you think he could be looking at now?  Maybe dealing with a past hurt?

Counseling is always great. But if he is just in a minor funk, I think you all would be able to work it out without needing to see one get.  Best wishes.

Answer

When we start to get into a rut from work and life we try to get out of town. We try to do something fun every month. It helps us have our moments in a world that is constantly trying to steal them!

Answer

It's surprising how quickly a wife becomes a 'norm' to a husband. It's definitely harder nowadays to get down time as a couple. Definitely chat to him and make an effort for him. He's probably exhausted and needs a little tlc from his wife too. This could spark his imagination. My husband always says that it shouldn't just be up to the man to be romantic. Maybe book a romantic cheap trip away for a weekend? Then discuss how he can't chill with his friends every weekend. You and your family together are the priority. Good luck!

Marriage advice please?

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