When your wonderful husband of 10 yrs and father of your 2 children, suddenly comes home from a work trip and tells you he did meth for 3 days and had a 3 some in a hotel room... it kind of blows you out of the water. And when, not 6 months later, you wind up throwing him out bc you realize he's suddenly addicted to crack cocaine and screwing anything on 2 legs willing to spread... You kind of start to question if you've even been living in reality for the last 10 yrs.

When your sober, wonderful, loving, faithful, hard working husband suddenly becomes addicted to drugs and cheats on you multiple times a week... at first you try, but then you leave.

Any woman who walks away from that unscathed, well, simply doesn't exist. They'd either be completely moronic, or incredibly naive. I like to think I am neither.

So, when this woman finally starts trying to date someone new, she may stumble across some hurdles. Such as thinking that the new man she's connecting with is out sleeping with someone, when really his phone just died for a minute and he text you explaining such as soon as it turned back on.

Yes, I did that. His phone died. I had no reason to believe otherwise. I was sane enough not to mention any of my crazy, illogical thoughts to him, (and no I didn't blow him up. I played it VERY cool) but still crazy enough to think to myself that he was blowing me off bc he was w another woman.

This is how you come to realize, that you didn't walk away from this unscathed. You walked away from this FUCKED UP. I was never this person, and now yet, here I am.

I don't like it. And I need to fix this. NOW.

How do I go about fixing this w/o making every man I meet think I'm bat shit, psycho level crazy? I don't like being this insecure and untrusting. Especially w people who don't deserve it. How do I undo the damage?