Ex -Lover

**A long time ago (4 years ago) I fell in love with this guy from Germany and we met like online. He was here in Florida for flight school and we like spent time together until he had to fly back home to Germany. We stated in contact with each other after that and dated long distance for 4 months until he broke up with me because he couldn't do the distance anymore. So we stayed friends until the beginning of 2016 when he met someone else and he told me and I was upset because I still loved him. Those feelings never went away. Well long story short. Just recently like the beginning of April. He contacted me and told me how he's sorry for blocking me and ignoring me all those years (his gf made him stop talking to me) and he agreed. But all I wanted was to be friends with him. It took me a long time to get over him. Because he was my first love. And he massaged me saying how he never wants to loose contact with me again. That he wants me apart of his life and for us to be friends. And I didn't say no. So we talked but his gf doesn't want us being friends. So he I guess sneaks behind her back to talk to me and I told him I shouldn't talk to him because my old feelings for him might start to come back and I don't want them too becaue I'll get hurt again. And I don't want that. To be honest. I'm happy when I talk to him. But I don't and can't be with him becaue he lives in Germany. I told him. I feel better when we talk and when we don't I feel as if I'll just loose him again. Please help 😓